The Loving Mind

The Journey to Self-Worth – 365 Days of Love

Day 320 – Creation

I drew this card today. It is from the Sacred Path deck of cards, done by Jamie Sams. This is the card I made, as I lost my deck while traveling. It is exactly what I needed to hear. Perhaps those reading this will resonate with it also?

Kokopelli holds the meaning of “fertility”. There are many myths about Kokopelli. But the just of it is, he played the Indian Flute, and was said to bring fertility to the people and the land. His flute was magical, and was said to inspire and bring creation into life when he played. How beautiful.

It reminded me that the Universe is an abundant place. That all the magic and wealth are available to each and everyone of us, all the time. Of course, we all go through barren times in life, and these moments bring lessons of their own. Life is cyclic after all.

But this card emphasizes the magic within us. We are each our own Kokopelli: if we allow the music in our hearts to play, we can create beauty, abundance, and love in our lives. We can sing fertility and creation at any moment.

In a world that keeps us fearful of “lack”, that we never have enough, and we need to acquire more and more, the simplicity of this message is so appropriate. Life is an abundant fertile ground, and we only have to sing our own tune to create in our lives. I forget this so very often, and fall into fear. I am reminded today to let the tune of my heart soar.

The key is using all of your talents, gifts and innate creativity, to bring forth fertility into your life. Everyone, I repeat EVERYONE, is creative in some way. You do not need to paint masterpieces or write beautiful melodies to be creative. It can be simple. Whatever makes YOUR heart sing, is your creation. Whatever you put your energy into you create. This is power.

Everyone has the opportunity to create magic in life. Not one person is better than another in this regard. We are all equal, we are all worthy, and we all are part of creation.

Today I am reminded to do what I love, which is write. This is my tune, coming straight from my heart.

I hope Kokopelli has inspired each of you to connect to your creative and unique song today. Sing away. This is your birthright.

Jodie xo

 

 

 

 

The Loving Mind

The Journey to Self-Worth – 365 Days of Love

Day 292 – Thank You

Today is my last day as a Massage Therapist. I am officially retiring from the RMT profession, which has been a huge part of my life for the last 12 years.

It didn’t hit me until now what this means, and I am feeling a little verklempt! I feel I need to say a few things about something that gave me so much. Some thank you-s are needed.

I started out as an RMT with a lot of energy, enthusiasm and passion. I loved the work, loved the people, and felt like I was making a difference. What a gift to be able to provide others with a safe and therapeutic touch. Touch is a basic human need, and I felt like I gave others my heart through my hands.

I still feel this way. When I am connected to my work and my client, I do feel I am loving them through my hands. We all deserve touch, and the Massage Therapy profession is serving an important need in today’s society. For 12 years, I have felt the bodies of tired, stressed, and traumatized people. Sometimes I was the best part of their week or day, or even life. I felt a huge sense of responsibility to my work and to my clients. And it was rewarding and a boost to my self-esteem and career pride.

So why leave? From my words, you may imagine that I still feel very much a part of this profession, and want to stay. But that is unfortunately not the case. I have wanted to leave for years, but could never find a way. I also think I just wasn’t ready until now. Now is the time.

I am not going to list all my reasons why, just that it is time. I have changed, my body strength has changed, and I want to work with others in a different way. That’s all. I used to feel huge guilt, but now I realize I am honoring the deeper call for change and growth. It is time to grow.

But first, I need to say a few things, before I treat my last client of the day. Then tomorrow I wake up to a whole new life. Now to the reason for this post…

Thank you Massage Therapy.

Thank you to all the Clinics and Centres of my past (and present) that allowed me to be part of their team, and help their clients. Thank you to all the other health professionals, receptionists and co-workers who made me feel so welcome and special. I had the privilege of working with amazing people, who made me laugh and supported me in many ways. It was because of you that I became the therapist I am.

Thank you to all my mentors and teachers. You were an inspiration to me, and helped me be a better therapist. It was because of you that I became the therapist I am.

Thank you most of all to my clients. I have met and treated thousands of people. Thousands. I have learned so much from each of you, from your bodies and your spirits. Thank you for supporting and trusting in me to be your caregiver. It was an honor. It was because of you that I became the therapist I am.

Thank you Massage Therapy. Thank you for changing my life in a way that lead me to authenticity and wisdom. Thank you for providing for me. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for everything you gave me, of which I will never forget.

It was because of you that I became the person I am.

Jodie xo

 

 

The Loving Mind

A Journey to Self-Worth – 365 Days of Love

Day 288 – It’s Simple

Let’s return to love, shall we?

The whole purpose of these posts, and “journey” through them, was an exercise in self-exploration and contemplation. Sometimes I strayed from that initial intention, because I had something to say. Recently, I feel I have returned to the basis of these writings, perhaps to the essence of what I have been trying to accomplish. To explore the nature of my own self-worth, and what that means.

I haven’t forgotten about myself, even though I haven’t written as frequently as I have wanted to. Life gets in the way, and there have been many changes in my life recently. But what shows up time and time again for me is love. Self-love, self-worth and inner value. These may seem like no brainers to some, but to me, this is everything. Finding the core of my inner worth is my number one pursuit, for many years now. For me, this is the pursuit of truth.

Is this selfish? Hell no. I made a choice for this path, and I have stuck to it. I could have chosen marriage or kids or buying a house, but I didn’t. To me, those are externals that would never have brought me happiness anyway. No use trying to fake a life for myself.

Right now I am shifting into a whole new career. Writing, editing teaching, Astrologizing, healing work via Shamanic Methods and Reiki. This is not easy, and it is not a traditional path, by any means. But I have chosen my heart, and I am sticking to it.

My fear is huge. Can I do this? Will I be able to support myself? Will people “buy what I am selling”? I have to believe they will, and I am worthy enough to give it a go. Why not, I seem to have some wisdom that people say they want to hear. Why not give it a go?

Last night I was thinking of all this while lying in bed. I questioned my fear: why am I afraid? Let’s break down the reality of my “fearfulness”, shall we? What came up was a long list of reasons why fear is a ridiculous reason for me to hold myself back, based on happenings in my life. And why I was worthy of choosing a new way of life. This is what I said to myself:

Why am I afraid? I survived a nightmare hostage and robbery in Peru. Then I had to leave my precious kids in Peru, who had filled my heart with more joy than I have ever felt in my life. I made it through many heart-breaks from men. I traveled in two foreign countries by myself, for 7 months. My family broke up when I was a teen, and it didn’t break me. I had to “put down” my beloved cat Harold on Mother’s Day. I have lost a few people, places and things. I moved away from what was familiar, to the unknown. I always dig deep into the dark places of my psyche, to see what is blocking me from being a great human being. I write this blog and put my heart on the line for everyone to see.

In light of all this, plus many more I have now forgotten, fear seems very very small. Insignificant. Lying in bed and listing all the above fear-facing facts about myself was a bit humbling. I realized, why be afraid? Why not write that book waiting to be written? Why not teach what I am passionate about? Why not just LOVE MYSELF, as I am, whole-heartedly, and f%$# the rest of it?

It’s simple, really. Self-worth is SIMPLE, when you break it down. It’s just love. That’s all. It’s a decision to love and leave the rest behind. I could stop writing this blog right now, and have achieved everything. But there’s always more, right?

Love is what it’s all about. The key is to find it within yourself, because it is there. Sometimes I think the world is missing this very important point. We live our lives blindly, and cover up this simple fact. I get it now. I really get it. Nothing else matters, except love.

365 days of love. How about eons, lifetimes, millenniums of love? The journey is endless.

Jodie xo

Hector’s Paintings

Hector Vargas Lanazca – Huancayo, Peru

Investment: $150.00 CDN

Ayer-y-Hoy
Investment: $150.00 CDN

Donde-Esta-Mi-Mama
Investment: $150.00 CDN

La-Pobreza
Investment: $150.00 CDN

Maca-Allapakuy
Investment: $150.00 CDN

Palomas-Cotorreando
Investment: $150.00 CDN

Process:

If you would like to purchase one of Hector’s pieces, please email me at:  jodie.lindley@gmail.com

I will require a deposit of $100.00, sent to me via email transfer (or in person).

The cost of each painting is $150.00 CDN for the painting and $55.00 CDN for shipping and transfer = $205 CDN.

The painting will be shipped to me, upon which the remainder of the amount is to be paid ($105.00), via email transfer. I will then arrange the painting to be sent or I will deliver it.

The painting will be shipped in tube format. This is to protect the integrity of the work, and it is also less expensive to ship from Peru. It is quite easy to take the painting to a framing shop to be mounted. It is a great investment for such an amazing, original piece of art.

Hector will receive 100% of these costs, I will only use what I require to transfer money and any shipping extras.

About Hector Vargas Lanazca

Hector Vargas Lanazca

I met Hector in 2009, when I was traveling in Peru. At the time, I was volunteering in a government facility called INABIF, in Huancayo, Peru. It was an experience I will never forget as long as I live.

INABIF is a “home” for boys aged 7-17, whom were either orphaned, ran away from home, or had a not so great family life. INABIF was their refuge, and they were extremely well taken care of and loved.

Hector was one of the first boys I met, he was 16 years old at the time. When I met him, he was working on a painting. As soon as I saw the painting, I knew I had to have it. It is included below.

I do not know Hector’s personal story, and I don’t need to. The fact that he was at INABIF said enough to me. Home and family were challenges in his life. The truth is, is that he is an extremely talented young man. Painting is his passion, and this is reflected in the depth of his work. Such depth for such a young person is rare. At INABIF, Hector told me he had been painting since he was 6 years old. Amazing.

Recently, Hector asked for a favor. He asked if I would help him sell his paintings here in Canada. I immediately said yes, because he is such a talent. The images of the paintings he sent me are incredible. How can I not help this amazingly talented boy, who does not have the same opportunities in Peru?

I have created a separate page with the images of his paintings currently for sale. It also contains the details of how this process works. I am the “middle woman” and am not making a profit whatsoever. This is for Hector.

So please check out his page on this site. He is also on Facebook, so perhaps you can be his friend too!

https://www.facebook.com/smokinghop

Thanks so much, and help me celebrate this exceptional young man.

There will be another post following, with Hector’s paintings and the prices for each.

Jodie xo

Hector, myself, and the painting I purchased

The Loving Mind

The Journey to Self-Worth – 365 Days of Love

Day 260 – Birthday Transformation

Today is my 41st birthday, a fact of which I  1) cannot believe in one respect and  2) am actually not too concerned about. I am an Astrologer, and I get that fact that time passes. Such is life.

But today I was compelled to write, because someone I met for the first time, outwardly judged me right to my face. This person does not know me at all, and made a not-so-subtle criticism against a life-altering decision I made for myself.

It made me stop and think. Initially, I was (and am still a bit), pissed off. Fuck Off comes to mind. How arrogant and rude. Who does this person think they are? And why do I care what they think of me?

Then I found myself laughing inside. I realized I can’t let this bother me too much, because the comment has nothing to do with me. This person was bringing their own perspective out for me to see. If I really think about it, it was a power play. A comment to put someone down, in order to feel better about oneself. Lame.

But on another level, perhaps they were a mirror to my own inner insecurities? In fact, I am sure they were. It was a check-in for myself to see where I am with regards to my inner comfort zone. I cannot control what some jack-ass thinks about me, but I can control how I feel about myself. And how I treat and talk to myself.

Of course I have made decisions that brought me more harm than good. And I will probably make many more. I often find myself criticizing myself for past missteps, saying I didn’t do the right thing. What is the right thing anyway? Who has the rule book on what I should or shouldn’t do? I feel myself bound only to two “energies” in my life: myself and the Universe. Everything else can keep walking.

All this leads me to now: where am I on my 41st birthday? How comfortable am I in my own skin? Am I okay with Jodie?

The answer is yes. I am okay with myself. And, I am way more comfortable with who I am now, than I was at 31, that is for sure. And why not? I am here on Earth for a reason, and I take it upon myself to a) figure out what that reason is and b) work my hardest to achieve it.

The truth is, I am damn proud of myself. Today I am here to toot my own horn! I am here to evolve and grow, and be the best I can be, so I can help others the best I can. How can I let something a stranger said to me ruin that?

So I want to thank this person who was an idiot to me today. They reminded me how proud of myself I really am, and how I truly think I am a decent human being. I would like everyone out there to remember this the next time someone tries to harm your sense of self.

Here’s to birthday transformations!

Jodie xo

 

 

 

The Loving Mind

The Journey to Self-Worth – 365 Days of Love

Day 231 – Authentic Life Change

So many people around me are going through big changes. Authentic changes. It is inspiring and I am very proud of them. It isn’t easy to leave anything that one is attached to, on any level. But authenticity requires effort and taking a leap of faith at some point in life.

As an Astrologer and Healer, I didn’t reach the place of being able to call myself those things easily, without my own authentic changes. It has been a process (ongoing), since 2004 believe it or not. I have explored many different methods of healing and learning, but I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. Because it got me to this moment of another big authentic life change.

But first, what does authentic change require? Intention, appropriate timing, and courage.

Let’s talk Intention first. By definition, Intention is “a course of action that one intends to follow” (www.thefreedictionary.com). Intention is your own personal compass, your direction, your cellular level wish to the Gods. It involves nobody else but you and your heart. You send your intentions out into the Universe and life responds, whether you like it or not. That is why they say “be careful what you wish for”. It also means “be careful of your intentions”. Intentions are powerful wishes and hopes, and if they are true and heart-felt, they will eventually manifest into being.

Appropriate timing. As an Astrologer, I deal in time. In fact, that is what Astrology is all about. Cycles of life, karma, change and the evolution of the personality and soul. Growth is inevitable and there is a time for everything. Remember those words from Ecclesiastes 3 (adapted into a popular song by The Byrds): “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot…a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance….etc.” There is a time for everything and for everything there is a time.

Authentic change has inherent timing built into it, and you know inside when the time is right for you to change. Sometimes you may feel change happens for you and to you. But on some level your soul called for it and life brought it to you. The challenge is, how to deal with the time when you feel uprooted, or something dies. All I can say is, it was the right time.

Courage. I am reminded of the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz: What do they got that I ain’t got?!! Courage. Poor Lion. He always had his courage and his wisdom, he just didn’t believe in himself. And therein lies the meaning of courage: the belief in yourself. If you believe in yourself, you can do anything. You can do the scariest thing if there is a belief you will get through it. Fear is actually False Evidence Appearing Real. Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Authentic change requires courage, and looking into your own shadow to find the gold. The gold is courage.

So where is my authentic life change? I am finally retiring from a career that has been part of my life for 12+ years. This is it. It is time. What I intended years ago has come to fruition, and I have my courage to back me up. I finally reached the City of Oz and realized I had what I needed all along, except for my badge. Now I can go.

Where do you want authentic life change, yet aren’t sure if it is time? Or that you actually know what you intend? Or have the courage?

All I can say is follow your heart. It is very much like the yellow brick road, with scary witches and dismembering monkeys. A very shamanic journey I might add! But it is worth it and so are you.

Jodie xo

 

 

The Loving Mind

The Journey to Self-Worth – 365 Days of Love

Days 187 – 212 – Listening

I remember as a kid at the ocean, picking up a conch shell, putting it to my ear, and listening. What was I listening for? I was told you could hear the ocean. To me that seemed almost magical. Even doing this today for my picture made me a bit giddy. And guess what: I heard the ocean.

To me, this reinforces why we need to listen: to hear the magic.

Most of us do not want to listen for fear of hearing something we don’t want to hear. Fear that the Universe will urge us to do something that terrifies us. Fear that what we knew in our gut was true, and that we can’t be in denial anymore. Fear we have to step into fear.

I get this. For example, I sometimes do not listen to my gut intuition, and I regret it later. I often do not listen to my body, ignoring my major warning system that things are not kosher. I can deny that I am hearing the truth, especially if it is speaking from my heart, because it means disapproval from others.

Listening is honoring, right? If I don’t listen to myself, then how can I expect to be my own best friend, my number one advocate, my own personal warrior. Listening and really hearing the message coming from within is the best way to honor yourself. And balls to anyone outside your range because they can’t hear what you are hearing anyway.

Listening requires embodying the fine arts of attention and stillness. Very challenging in our fast paced world, with so much information coming at us we cannot hear what our guts are telling us. It requires sitting and listening. I might even say that it is truly connecting with that loving mind within that I go on and on about!

But emanating from my conch today was only a whisper of the ocean. It was so calming and peaceful, I think I might do this everyday! It is perfect therapy! But let me reiterate: it was a whisper. Often guidance comes to us in a gentle voice, so it is easy for us to dismiss it. We ignore and ignore, until finally we get the wake up call. We are being yelled at by something we were not listening to, because we didn’t believe the quietness of it. Damage control.

Personally, I have of late made a vow to really listen. Listen to my Self, my gut and my heart. Listen to others as they speak their truth. Listen to the ocean, the animals, even the snow. I know I will hear what I need to hear.

I will leave you with this quote I found by Winston Churchill, that really sums up what I mean to say about listening today…

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

Jodie xo

The Loving Mind

The Journey to Self-Worth – 365 Days of Love

Days 174 – 186 – The New

We have arrived at the New.

The New Year, 2012. New beginnings, new mantras, new ways of being. 2011 is no longer a concern. We have a whole 365 days of New to contend with. Hallelujah.

There is a lot of buzz going on about 2012, and what that means. Is the world going to end on December 21, 2012? The Mayan Calendar is going to be kaputs, what does that mean? Is the apocalypse finally going to show? Is 2012 the beginning of the end?

I have no idea. If I would hazard a guess, I would say the world is not going to end. But then, what do I know, I am not a God. But I might add, that what I believe is coming to an end, is the old way of being, doing and behaving. Our time is running pretty short on nonsense. By that I mean, we are all being called to become more authentic in our living.

What does authentic mean? It means to be genuine, true and real. It means honoring the truth of who you really are, and living very closely to that real-ness. It means listening to your heart and soul, and following their call. It means wiping the dust from your eyes and seeing what life is really about. It means not allowing yourself to be distracted by the world, and instead following your path to wholeness and love. It is to become New all over again.

I see 2012 as a real year of change. Some of it may be messy: the New always comes with a price. The New can often mean being lost in limbo while certain pieces of your life fall apart and away, while others are just beyond reach. In the New, we are just-born babies naked and crying and wishing we were back in our comfort zone of the womb. The New is discomfort and shifting and growing. We can’t be who we were and we have no idea who we are to become.

But the New can be glorious. Think about the space we can fill if we’ve cleared out the old. Think about the potential growth and life that the New brings. You can be the farmer of your life, planting the precious seeds that matter most to you, tending to them, and watching them eventually grow large and luscious.

The most intense time of the New is when the seeds are in the ground. You can’t see what is happening. You can only trust they are growing. You can only sit and water and wait. You have to trust and trust and trust. It seems like there is nothing happening, and you are to be forever in despair and emptiness.

But then the miracle happens. A shoot appears. Then another and another, and soon you have a field of the New. You have created a garden for your soul and it is beautiful. The New has arrived and it is more authentic and real and you.

So this is what I hope for each of you in 2012: that you plant your own garden and create a field of you. I hope any New you start in your life is close to your heart, and bears the fruit of your dreams. You deserve the New, so go out and get it.

Jodie xo

The Loving Mind

The Journey to Self-Worth – 365 Days of Love

Days 149-173 – Growth

I have been a bit absent from writing lately. Let’s just say ’tis the season to be crazy, fa la la la la…

Also, the last few months have been intense. I am in the midst of change (again), and while I have many many feelings and things to talk about, perhaps I wasn’t ready to form them into words to be broadcast on the internet until now. Even then, I’m not sure what I will say…

Growth. That’s what I want to talk about today.

As we all know, the only constant is change itself, and life constantly changes. Most of us resist change, because that means we have to give up some sense of security, some known for the unknown. Most of us like our lives when they are stable, secure and everything goes our way. Or at least, we are too busy to pay attention and there is no room for the unknowns. The unknown is incredibly scary, because it is open-ended and we have no idea what the Universe will throw at us.

Change often manifests in our outside world first, as some type of chaos. It is easy to blame and point fingers to what life is “doing to us”. But on some level, it begins within us first. Call it a stirring, an inner urge, or a whispering of discontent. We feel we are changing, but we aren’t sure why or how. We feel at odds with our environment, but we are not sure what it is exactly. We can’t put our finger on it, but it causes us a great disconcerting feeling inside. And we fight and rail and feel badly.

How can we expect things to stay the same forever? Fighting against change is a losing battle my friends. Why? One word: growth.

Growth is painful because it requires us to change on some level. Most of us do not enjoy going out of our comfort zone, but at some point along the way of living life, it happens. Growth is a necessary part of being human and of aging. Our souls came here to experience, to grow and to evolve, and inherent in that path is change. Messy messy messy.

I will use myself as an example. About 6 weeks ago, my back went out. I was flat out, in pain, and everything but lying flat on the floor with ice felt like hell. And I couldn’t do my job. Heck I couldn’t do anything! I felt like I was 80 years old, and everything was falling apart. I remember lying there asking the heavens, what now? What do I do now if I can’t do what was? Change was the resounding answer.

I knew it in my heart what had to happen, but I was scared. I knew I had to let go of something I was holding onto for dear life, but it meant walking into the unknown. I knew the change was to be more authentic to what I wanted in life, but I was used to the old way. If I let go and changed, then what? How terrifying, because the “then what” wasn’t even formed yet.

My body made it easy for me, because it was speaking my inner truth. It was time to grow. It was time to change. It was time to move into a different way of life, of being, and of making a living. It was time to receive a bit of a “push” to make that next step towards authenticity. So I did, and so I begin my retirement-process from a career that was stable for a relatively long time. So I begin my next phase of growth.

Maybe turning 40 this year did it. Maybe moving into my Secondary Progressed New Moon Phase did it (translation: evolving life theme and personality). Maybe I deep down just wanted this. No matter what label I put to it to explain it, the truth is growth did it.

And so I am scared you-know-what-less right now, but I am going ahead. I feel like my inner and outer being is requiring it, and regardless of whether I am scared or not, I have to. It’s time to grow people.

So where are you preventing growth in your life?

Just as a bit of a warning, heed the call. When growth comes knocking, he’ll come in the back door when you are busy barricading the front.

Happy Holidays and Happy Growth!

Jodie xo